How to Survive Water Wars


For thirteen days in May, seniors chase each other, hide in each other’s cars, and spray each other with water guns.  This is Water Wars, where senior students compete in an extended water fight.  Over a hundred seniors signed up to get their targets, and find their victims across the city.


How, then, are seniors supposed to survive those thirteen days?  From social media to driving routes, here’s how to make it through Water Wars!

1. Turn off social media location trackers!


SnapMaps, I’m looking at you.  This is painfully obvious, but there are some people who still don’t get it.  If you don’t want people to ambush you, don’t broadcast your location.  It’s that simple.


To a lesser extent, this is true for any social media posts.  If you’re going to hang out somewhere on a Saturday, don’t broadcast it in advance.  Or at all, really, if you can help it.  On the other hand, if you feel like misleading people by posting faulty information….

2. Don’t tell people who you have!


Yes, I know everyone does this anyway.  But if you play your cards right, keeping some secrets has the potential to make your life a lot easier.


Everyone gossips during Water Wars.  Who has who, how they’re going to get them out, where they live.  Everyone essentially becomes an accomplice to everyone.  People literally scour their phones looking for every last phone number to interrogate minor acquaintances.


The fewer people who know your person, the fewer people can tell them.  So just lie about it!  By the end of Water Wars, practically everyone knows who’s targeting them.  If you can avoid that, you’re much more likely to surprise your target.


You’ll probably have to tell someone if you want their help.  But choose your allies wisely.  It’s better to talk to people you trust (although trust can go out the window during this game).

3. Get ready for some looooooong stakeouts.


Not everyone is lucky enough to know their target’s frequent destinations.  Sometimes the best you can do is find their address and hide outside.  Not perfect, but better than nothing.


Just don’t get impatient when you do this.  If you play it right, you can actually get those hard-to-reach people like this.  For those with targets who rarely leave the house, this is your only option.  So don’t blow it by giving up too soon.

4. Get creative…


We all know you can text people to ask for other students’ addresses.  But branch out people!  Google people’s names!  Is it creepy?  Yeah, a little.  But it works!  Google their older siblings, see if you can find their sport/extracurricular schedules online!


Just in the past few days, I’ve googled people and poured back through an old yearbook to check family relationships.  We live in the age of the internet.  We might as well use it.

5. Get some fun gadgets!


Yes, you could just get the single standard water gun.  And that would probably work.  But … c’mon.  This is one of the few times in our lives to go absolutely crazy with our equipment.  Might as well.


And, as fun as they are, water guns aren’t the only way to get someone out.  Bring water bottles, soaked sponges, really anything else you can think of.  Not only are they versatile, they’re less conspicuous.

6. Stop being dumb.


Guys.  Roll up your car windows.  Hide inside as much as possible.  Lie to everyone humanly possible.  We do not need to make this harder than it has to be.  Make.  It.  Happen.

7. Live in fear.


I’m not saying you shouldn’t trust anyone, but I’m also not not saying that.  Most people probably aren’t out to get you, but at least one person is.  If you really want to survive, better safe than sorry.


To everyone still in Water Wars, good luck.  To everyone that’s already out, might as well have fun helping your friends get each other out.  After all, this is one of the last events of our senior year.  We should enjoy it.  Even if we are terrible at surviving.